August 2009
1 post
August 5th, 2009
I miss her.
July 2009
5 posts
“Living is easy with eyes closed.”
– John Lennon (The Beatles)
July 19th, 2009
I simply don’t know what to say about last night.
I keep asking myself “What’s going on here?” and then I realize that it’s just that happy feeling I’ve gotten so used to living without.
July 16th, 2009
I’m sitting here, still thinking about it. Thinking about how my heart jumped when I first saw her coming up the steps. Thankful that she hugged me, since I knew I certainly wasn’t going to — even though it’s all I wanted to do. Staring at her smile. Walking around, talking for hours. Freezing our asses off while baring our souls just that tiniest bit. It was not a typical...
July 14th, 2009
We talked for well over seven hours straight yesterday. We talked on the phone for three hours, until 2:30 in the morning, and I think it went really well. I was serious when I asked her where they’ve been hiding her. I’m supremely mad at whoever kept me from meeting this girl sooner.
Stay tuned…
July 12th, 2009
A new challenger appears.
Her name is Diedra. This one seems really different. Would it be entirely stupid to say “she’s like me”? I think it might be. But it seems like it’s true.
Let’s see what Fate has in store for me.
June 2009
4 posts
June 26th, 2009
I think I’m alright now. It still hurts, but I can’t keep wallowing in my own self-pity. I can’t keep brooding. Though, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever find that perfect girl for me. Someone who can understand all of my faults, someone who will accept me for who I am; the kind, timid, inexperienced guy with a heart of gold. I desperately want to give that heart to somebody, but the...
June 17th, 2009
Optimism was wrong again.
Melissa has a friend who is dying. He doesn’t have long to live, and he told her he loves her. She told me she doesn’t think there’s a chance of a relationship between the two of us because she can’t abandon him and let him die alone. I swear to god, it’s like I’m living in a soap opera. How often does this shit actually happen?
My...
June 11th, 2009
I finally got my grades back for the semester, and fucking hell, what did I do?! I got a C in HTML. How did that happen? I’m GOOD at HTML, and my page looked awesome. And ugh, I got an F on my screenplay writing final. My instructor told me it was because I didn’t follow his formatting rule (which is a bullshit format that they stopped using in the 1970s). He said my story showed...
June 2nd, 2009
Hmm. This Melissa just might be the real deal. She lives incredibly far away, but she’s moving to the area soon, and I think I can be patient.
I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but it’s hard not to. I’m very quickly becoming jaded with this whole process, and I’m trying my best to balance the realist and the optimist in me. This is basically my inner-monologue:
...
May 2009
1 post
May 19th, 2009
Well. I guess I can write about this one now that I KNOW it’s over.
Her name was Emilia. Sarcastic, witty, blunt, a bit of a jerk, but still kind, sweet and fun. She liked good shows and movies, her music collection was decent enough… Though I should have seen the warning signs: She hated Radiohead and The Beatles.
I found out only too late that she had just gotten out of a two year...
April 2009
2 posts
April 24th, 2009
It was my 21st birthday yesterday, and it was fun as hell. I went to a karaoke bar with Steve — neither of us sang, but it was a blast watching all of the singers. I tried to drink, but it hurt really fucking badly. Damn esophagus. I ended up drinking water while Steve drank double time for me.
You know how I know Steve is the best friend I could possibly have? Conrad challenged me to drink...
April 11th, 2009
And here we go again. This time, her name was Jen, and she seemed like a sweet enough person, so I messaged her, she messaged me back, and we hit it off pretty well. We were both dorks and awkward in the some sort of ways, and we talked constantly about our most embarrassing situations and our worst qualities. After a little while, it occurred to me that this was not something that a relationship...
March 2009
5 posts
March 25th, 2009
I found a girl named Jessica. She was obsessed with the Beatles. Much less intimidating than being obsessed with sex. We talked for about a week before I asked if she wanted to go out and do something. She said that it would be ‘wonderful’. This made me happy. So last Friday rolled around, and there she was. We went to the local bowling alley, which was packed. I guess I should have...
March 20th, 2009
I keep trying to remember to post something here. My goal was to do it at least once every two days… Maybe I’ll have to settle for once a week.
I’ve discovered something — Nobody likes good music anymore. I want to live in the 60s, when music really meant something. Radiohead, Nirvana, yeah, they’re fucking awesome and their music really had a lot of meaning....
March 16th, 2009
So. Weird things.
I started talking to this girl named Britney. She seemed very cool, her musical taste left something to be desired… But I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone who I can connect with musically. Just the way it goes.
Anyways, it turns out all she was interested in was sex. This scared the ever-living crap out of me. Why? I think we all know why. When you’re...
March 9th, 2009
Dear god. I signed up for a dating site. This is beyond weird.
March 2nd, 2009
I had been going to the Art Institute of California - Sunnyvale for all of two hours when I realized what a horrible mistake I had made in enrolling there.
Three months of mediocre training, awash in arrogance and ignorance, I decided enough was enough and left, going back to my old school, Gavilan in Gilroy, in February. I signed up too late to get into anything I really wanted to take, but I...